The river of dreams burned with every sip, as the bottle emptied. Numbness cloaked her body entirely, with no more tears to cry. She searched for clarity, looking down at the blurred bottle in her hands, prepared for anything that may appear; but nothing could ever prepare her for the deafening silence that followed. Darkness surrounded the empty space with such force, she felt as though she would never get back up. Every glimmer of hope and happiness evaded her heart, causing a ripple of anger to force its way to the surface. Staring into the blank space around her, feeling absolutely defeated, she smashed the bottle on the floor. Thick glass scattered haphazardly across the room. The sting of alcohol soaked glass cut through her flesh, as she casually walked around the room...Finally, something to feel. The floor became slick beneath her feet, as blood seeped from her open wounds. She slipped, falling to the cold floor, without even trying to catch herself. No one was ever there to catch her in life, and she was tired of doing it herself. She felt that notion stab her in the heart, for what she hoped was the last time. Her finger tips grazed the broken bottle neck that lay beside her. She gripped the cool glass in a fist, white knuckling the bottle for the last time. In a sigh of relief, she sliced through skin until a river of warmth pooled around her. It won’t be long now, she whispered into the empty room. She faded into the darkness, becoming one with the air around. Her last thought was of him...
A change came over him. A new way of thinking. Hope filled his heart, as the sun peaked through the window onto his face. The confusion had finally cleared. He knew what he wanted now. He always knew, but needed time to recover from the heartache and chaos of his past. He had forced himself to look at anything except her, and the love that radiated between them. His recklessness beat him over the head, waking him up, dragging him out of the self-imposed mental prison he had jailed himself in for so long. Her heart called to him again and again, but this time he felt a sense of urgency. A burning desire overcame him to right his wrongs, and express all the bottled up feelings he had suppressed since his eyes first met hers. Her smile lit up his jaded heart, making him feel whole again. Her eyes spoke to his soul, and saw through every flaw he thought he had. She knew him without any words being exchanged, and he yearned to know every inch of her in return. Some would call this “love at first sight”, but this connection is beyond the mundane definition of love, and he felt himself waking up to this notion. His heart suddenly stabbed in an aching desire to drop everything and go see her. He had never felt a pull such as this ever in his life. The ache grew, and stabbed harder...now it felt physically painful. So painful, he forced himself to sit down and catch his breath. Phone in hand, he dialed her number then stopped himself...wondering what to even say? Would she understand his feelings? Would she feel the same, after all this time had passed? His heart pounded hard in his chest, racing like an out of control car on the freeway. He tried repeatedly to talk himself out of reaching out, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling of urgency to take action. The thought of this being some kind of fucked up love story made his head spin in circles. This is a risk he must take.
His hands shook as he fumbled to start the car. His nerves were starting to get the best of him. The silence was broken by the music on the radio, blaring through the speakers, playing straight to his core. Tears began to well up in his eyes, blurring his vision. The road seemed long, and unforgiving, just like the journey in discovering his love for her had been. He didn’t see the red light up ahead. His only focus was needing to get to her. Suddenly, the car was spinning out of control, like the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind. It happened to fast, he didn’t feel the initial impact of the truck smashing into him. A second blow brought the car to a halt. In an instant he was outside laying in the shadow of the tree line, surrounded by shattered glass, as darkness blanketed his body. The songs chorus, “I can’t live without you. I can’t live without you baby.”, floated through the air, but nothing could prepare him for the deafening silence that followed. His last thought was of her...
A bright light pulled her from the darkness, like the hand of the divine saving her from all the pain she couldn’t seem to escape. She felt free, almost weightless as she glided toward the muffled sound of a familiar song. As she got closer, the song became more clear. She knew the song, but only one chorus line was playing, “I can’t live without you. I can’t live without you baby”. A dark figure appeared before her. She didn’t know who, or what it was. Her mind was telling her to hide in fear, but her heart pulled her closer to the figure. As the figure slowly came into view, she jumped back... it was him. Shock-waves flowed through her, like tiny lightening bolts, igniting a familiar spark within her soul. She wanted to jump into his arms, and never let go, but the pain of her broken heart suddenly stung her like a million bee stings all at once. She felt the distance between them all over again, even though he stood before her. Her chest tightened. She had so many things to say to him, but her mouth seemed to be sewn shut in the moment. He reached his hand out, in hopes that she would put her hand in his. Time stopped, yet it felt like an eternity before she returned the gesture. Light beamed in an array of colors as the two connected in a slow motion embrace. The physical contact they both had waited for wasn’t warm and fuzzy, like they both had anticipated...it was more than what anyone could ever perceive magic to be. Their energy intertwined, knitted together like a warm winter glove. A perfect fit, for an imperfect pair. Neither of them spoke a word to one another. There was this inner knowing that each of them shared. They saw themselves in each other, and shared their unspoken journey within their embrace...all the fear, pain, sadness, and love that had brought them to this point. Upon releasing one another, a red string appeared that tethered them together, no matter how great the distance between them became.
A force whipped through the air around them, pulling them apart, at an alarming rate of speed. Flying backwards they both kept their arms extended out toward one another, reaching for the contact that was just ripped away from them. All they had left of each other was a tiny string that could possibly be cut by the free will of the other one.
Her heart pounded in her chest, as she tried to catch her breath, from be woken up so suddenly. Peering over at her night stand, with tired eyes, her alarm clock read, 11:11. With her conscious mind slowly waking up, she realized it was all a dream. Trying to find meaning in it all, she pulled out a notebook to write it down. She fumbled around trying to find a pen when her phone rang.
It was him...
“Hey, I hope it’s not too late, but I had the strangest dream, and just had to call you...”
Written by: Jessica L. Howard 3/14/2020
Fiction
